Jokes! —

What did Cinderella say when her photographs weren’t ready?

Some day my prints will come.

Alex If there is 5 fish in a fishtank 1 drowns how many are left?

5 because fish do not drown.

babygirl What do you call a witch with a broken broom and her thumb up?

A witch-icher

stef Why did the duck cross the road?

Because it was the chickens day off.



DENI Why did the football coach go to
the bank?

To get it’s quarterback

shorty How did the dentist fix the dragons teeth?

With a fire drill.

nicole What do you call a sleeping bull?

ANSWER: A bulldozer

yellow hummer Where does the president keep in armies????

In his SLEEVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Klunker What’s a dogs favorite pizza topping?


Lea A dear, a skunk and a duck go into a resturaunt. When it is time to pay,the dear didn’t have a buck, the skunk didn’t have a cent, so they put it on the ducks bill! Bookworm When is it a good time to go to the

At tooth-hurty(2:30)

Gotinx Q What is broken in your body when you go to Dr.Funny?

A Funny bone

Cheetah Why did the boy eat his

Because it was a piece of cake!

Sunny Question:

What is black and white and black and white and black and white and green?


3 zebras fighting over a pickle.

shanu Why did the elephant have a rotten

Because he forgot his trunk!!!!!!

Spiro What do bees use on their hair?

A honeycomb!

kenny Mary’s mother has 4 kids. They are called North, South, and East.

What is the other childs name?


Sharon Why did a girl through her clock out the window?

because she wanted to see time fly

bear bear be square Why was the teacher cross eyed?

Because she couldn’t control her pupils!!!!!

lorene Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?

cuz he didn’t have the guts.

parralelparker Why didn’t the orange cross the road!!

Because he ran out of juice.

Levi What kind of water do you take on a plane?

Plain Water

master What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No eye deer

Gilly What do you call a old man watching the time?

An Old Timer!

Star How do you make a kleenex dance!

Put a little boogy in it!

windal arndt What kind of animal do you not want to play games with?

A cheetah!

Allie When a surfer get’s married what does he say?

I Dude!

Goofy.L. What do you get when you cross a wink with a happy face?


eree How do you say chocolate in french?

chocolate in french !! duhh

joey jaski’s baby girl 4 ever What did one log say to the other log?

I’m burning up!

gold bug Which Muppet is hard to see through?

kirmet the fog

liz How Does A Witch Know how much money you have?

They can tell your fortune!

Lakota What do you call a bull that sleeps?

A Bulldozer

Sam Is your refrigerator running?

Then you better go catch it!

Sam What did the duck say when his friend made him laugh?

You quack me up

LETY Why did the dinasaur cross the road?

because the chicken wasn’t invented yet

dukeface Why did the orange roll down the hill

because it ran out of juice!

grimesy Why is cinderella not good at football?

Because she runs away from the ball

Natalie Grimes If you had a million dollors and you were about to die what would you do?

buy a life saver!

joker prank What did the ocean say to the shore?

Nothing, it just waved!

Ange What do you where in winter that is cross between a sheep and a kangaroo?

A woolie jumper!

daffy dill Why did the class clown crawl
around the playground all night?

Because he lost his marbles!

brothers peltz Question: What do you call a one story house?

Answer: A one story house

scampers How do books comunicate?

They page each other!

roxy What did the moster say when it was scared?

I want my mummy

RAHUL AND MEENA Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

Delaney What did one penny say to the other?

Lets get to gather and make some cents

baby princess angel 13 Why did the Football coach go back to the bank?

He had to get his Quarterback.

Flower Q. How did the skunk call home?

A. On his smellurlar phone!

blue Question:Why did the dog cross the road?

Answer:’Cause he wanted to go to the barking lot!!!!!!!!!!

Chia340 Q. what did the hamburger name has little girl?

A. patty

Rugrat Q. Why did the catus cross the road?

A. Because it was stuck to the chicken.

Nicky M. Q. What kind of a shark can build a house?

A. A hammerhead

Kolton Q. What does one eye say to the other eye?

A. Between you and me something smells.

Asia What time is it when your feet are raw?

Time to get shoes.

jessica what did ernie say when bert asked him for some ice-cream?


brandlea10 where do people with no hair live?
in baldimore brandlea10 IF CHUCKIE WERE A CAT WHAT KIND WOULD HE BE?


PAIGE Why does the light go out in the refrigerator?

So the tomato doesn’t see the salad dressing.

Jason Question: What is worser than a giraffe with sore throat?

Answer: A caterpillar with sore feet!

Mia Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

Because he was feeling crummy.

Regicoscram q. What plays piano keys?


dj Q. What goes up and never comes down?

A. Your Age

Missy Q. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?

A. Cause he didn’t have no body to go with.

Jacob and Jackie Q. why did the lion spit out the clown?

A. because he tasted funny.

Dian Q.Why was the baby ant confused?

A.Because all his uncles are ants.

Espier Q. What is red, black and white all over.

A. A zebra with the chichen pox.

K.C Q. What do you get when you cross an hippo with a black bird?

A. A lot of broken telephone poles.

Spitz(Stephanie) Q:What starts with an E and ends with an E?

A:An Envolope

grandma what is an alagators favorite drink?




CECE Where did the sheep get a haircut?

At the Baaaarber shop.

Sel what comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?

the letter m

ryan and andrew why did the dragon’s house catch on fire?

because it slept with its mouth open.





HI What time is it when a elephant sit’s on your fence?

answer:Time to get a new one.

May Q:Have you heard the joke about the butter.

A:I can’t tell,you will spread it

KK Q. Why does E.T. have such big eyes?

A. you would too,if you saw his phone bill

puffy hair Q. Why was the calendar upset?

A. Because it didn’t have a date.

Manny Q. What is the difference between a fly and a bird?

A. A bird can fly, but a fly can’t bird.

Manny Q. Why was the letter «E» left back?

A. Because it was always in bed and never in school.

Manny Isn’t there 18 letters in the alphabets?

Yes there is because E.T went into the U.F.O and the C.I.A. went after him!

Manny Q. What is round on both sides and says hi in the middle?

A. Ohio.

Manny Q. What day is worst for the chickens?

A. Fry-day.

Manny Knock,Knock

Who’s there?


Banana Who?


Banana who?

orange who?
orange you glad I didn’t say banana

Mandy How many vampires does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Vampires prefer the dark.

Manny What do clean noses have inside?


Akshay Q. Why couldn’t the flower ride its bike?

A. Because his pedals fell off

scampers Q. What did Adam say to Eve on Christmas?

A. «It is Christmas, Eve.»

scampers Q. Why did the bee go to the doctor?

A. Because he had hives.

scampers Q. How do you make fruit punch?

A. Give it boxing lessons!

crystal & kristy Q. What runs around your backyard but never moves?

A. The fence

strawberri Q. What is Donald Ducks Favorite Tv show?

A. The Duck-U-Mentaries

jokester Boy: I got blamed for something I didn’t do.

Friend: What?

Boy: My Homework!

Bookworm knock knock

who’s there?


arrowana who?

arrowana see you again!

Amy knock knock

who’s there?


orange who?

orange you going to open the door?

boOpiE Q. What do you catch but not throw?

A. A cold.

Vart Q. Where is a cow’s favorite place to be?

A. A MOO-sment park!!

Laura (Monkey) Q. What is Mickey Mouse’s favorite car to drive?

A. A Minnie Van!

Laura (monkey) Q. why were the baby strawberries upset?

A. because their mum and dad were in a jam.

ezza Q:When do ghosts play baseball?

A:When their spirit is catching

Ralph Q. what do you call a banana doing a split?

A. A banana split

phil Q. Who has the most dangerous job in Trannsyilvannia?

A. Dracula’s dentist.

Britt Q. what has two eyes[i] and sees[seas] all around?

A. Hawaii


who’s there?


isabelle who?

isabelle outta order! Hee! hee! hee!

Shelly Q. What do you call a 3 headed monster
with 9 legs, 1 arm , 55 fingers and
no ears?

A. any-thing you want it can’t hear u!

Shelly Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the street?

A. To get to Jurassic Park!!

Katie(Pigglefish) Q. What did the monster say to the bug?

A. Nothing, monsters are not real!

Katie (Pigglefish) Q. How do you catch a squirrel?

A. Climb up a tree and act like a nut

Ashley Patient: Doctor,Doctor I think i’m a pack of cards!

Doctor: I’ll deal with you later!

cool18 & cool20 Q. what time is it when a ghost comes to dinner?

A. Time to go!

lid Q. what has two banks but no money?

A. a river.

matt What do you use to fix a broken tooth?

Answer: toothpaste.

matthew Q:What do you call a well balenced meal?

A hamburger in each hand.

Court Q] what did mars say to the sun?

A] you’re hot!

nate Q. Why did the basketball player go to the dentist?

A. because he wanted to get more shots.

brint Q. If a rooster layed an egg on the top of a roof, which way would it roll?

A. roosters don’t lay eggs silly

Bambie Q. What does a ghost wash his hair with?

A. Shamboo

Jay-Jay Q. What do you get when you cross dracula and a snowman?

A. *frostbite*

Jen Q: Where do ghosts go to live?

A: Where everyone else lives, the living room!

cassie Q. Why did the butler bring a deck of cards in the hall

A. He wanted to deck the halls

FOXY Q:What is a cat’s favourite part of the computer?

A:The mouse!

Gudiya How does a cow do math?

It uses a cowculator!!!

ANGEL Q: How do you count a herd of cows?

With a cowculater.

Kris Q: What did the lawyer name her daughter?

A: Sue!

Bree Q: why did the girl go outside with her purse open?

A: To see if there was any change in the weather.

saphire Q: Where do fish put their money?

A: In river banks!

Coco roco Q: Why was the math book sad?

A: Because it had so many problems.

coolbmg Q: Why did the girl name her horse

A: It kept running out of the pen!

Emi What did the traffic light say to the car?

Don’t look, i’m changing!

G-Money Q. where did the teacher leave her

A: on the computer

tabby Where does a snowman go to dance?

A snow ball!!!

Diamond Q} What is the difference between a teacher and a train?

A} The teacher says «get rid of the gum!» the train says «chew! chew!»

cute Q: The cowboy left on friday, spent 3 days & came back on friday. how can that be?

his horse is named friday.

whitgirl Q:whats worse than finding a
worm in your apple?

A:finding a half of worm in your

pink lady Q: Where does the coumputer go to dance?

A: The disc o.

abc… Q: where do fishes sleep?

A: on a water bed

donovanantoniojarman Knock Knock?

Who’s There?


Olive Who?

Olive You!

Matthew Q: Where did the fish go when he was sick?

A: to the docks

Kee Q.Where does a wasp go when it gets hurt?

A.The waspital.

footballgirlk Q: What room is a bear’s favorite room?

A: The den!

Liz Q: What do you call two witchs that live together?

A: Broom mates

Kay Q: what is a catipiller afraid of?

A: A dogapiller (DOG)



soccerstar Q: What kind of boats do mosquitoes like best?

A: Blood vessels!

Tiana Q:How much fun can you have doing arithmetic?

A:Sum Fun

amoos Q: What do cats eat?

A: Catfish!

coolwill01 Q: What do you get when you cross a
dinosaur with a pig?

A: Jurassic Pork!

ponygal Q: what do you get when you cross a turtle and a porcipine?

A: a slow poke

ponygal Q: What was the first bus to cross the ocean?

A: Columbus.

buck Q: Why wouldn’t the crayfish share his toys?

A: Becuase he was a little shellfish!

sharon Q.What would you rather have an old ten dollar bill or a new one?

A.a old ten is more than a new one dollar bill.

boshe dogg Q)what did the captin of the sub say to the first mate?

A)there’s something fishy out there.

class clown Q: Were did the sheep get her hair cut?

A: At the Baaaaaaaaarbbbbber shop

Nikki Q: What is full of holes, but holds water?

A: ….A sponge

Cricket Q: How do the famers move there cows?

A: A moo-ving van.

JB Q: What does a cat read?

A: cat-alogs

GDream4 Q: Why did the lady throw the head of lettuce out the window?

A: Because she wanted a tossed salad.

Katie Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?

A: Unique up on it!

Q: How do you catch a tame rabbit?

A: Tame way…..unique up on it!

Daniel Q: What do you get when you cross a dog, a bird, and a car?

A: A flying carpet

Lisee Q: Why couldn’t the sailors play cards???

A: Because the Captain was standing on the deck . HE HE HA HA

Pink Shadow / KaTe Q:There are 13 copycats and 1 dives in a pool, how many are left?




JESSICA Q: What did the glue say to the stamp?


Princess Q: How is a joke so much like a pencil?

A: Because if it dont have a piont its useless.



French Fry [Ashley] Q: What kind of waves wash up on a small beach?

A: microwaves

Joey Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?

A: Ground Beef

megan Q: Why can’t you tell a joke in a cornfield?

A: There’s to many ears!!

chicken legs Q: What kind of museums do cows go to?

A: Mooseums

YBOY Q: Why did the dog sit in the shade?

A: Because he didn’t want to be a HotDog.

Mr. T Q. What has 18 legs and caches flies?

A. A baseball team.

LDog Q: Why did the cow cross the road?

A: To get to the udder side.

Drew Q: Why was «Math» upset with English?

A: Because English was trying to check Math’s spelling.

MATH TEACHER Q: What do you call a rich duck?
A: lucky ducky natmo Q: What do you get when you cross a pair of pants that are smart?

A: Smarty Pants. Hee, Hee.

Dollywood knock knock!

who’s there?


candy who?

candy door be opened?

kEVIN Q: What do you call a snail on a ship?

A: A snailor

Jordy Q: Why did the picture go to jail?

A: Because he was framed!



S- ANGEL~ Q: What did one candle say to the other candle?

A: Are you going out tonight?

KaTe Q. What did the baseball player say when he hit a homerun?

A. See you later ball, I have to run home!

JT Q: What kind of music do mummy’s like?

A: Wrap!

jazzy Q: What did shaggy say when he couldn’t find scooby doo?

A: scooby dooby doo where r u we have some mysteries to solve

smart not!!!!! Q: If i had $50 and you gave me $20 what would I have?

A: $50 because you wouldn’t give me $20

mets Q: What do you do when an elephant breaks his toe?

A: You call the toetruck



JAMOO=JAM=JULIA Q: Why can’t a dalmation dog hide from it’s mom?

A: Because it’s spotted haahaaa

hanin and minas Knock!Knock!

Who’s there?


Snow who?

Snow use I can’t remember!!

Chuckie Q. If a butcher is six feet two inches tall, what do you think he weighs?

A. Meat

Bean Head (Say to an adult)You say:»How many kidneys do you have?»

They say: «two»

You say: «Wrong! You don’t have any kid-nees, only adult knees»

Bean Head Q: why did the cow cross the road?
A: Because it was the chickens day off! haha you like that don’t ya. Well i thought u would ya know because everyone just loves my jokes! moula moula Q. What do you call an annoying vampire?


Bean Head Q. what is the differece between «here» and «there».

A. The letter «t»

Bean Head Q: What can you hold in your right hand but not your left hand?

A: Your LEFT elbow

Bean Head knock knock!
Who’s there?
lettuce who?
lettuce go out tonight! tigerlover Q: What do you call a polar bear in

A: Lost

Dany Q: Why was the coach yelling at the

A: He wanted his Quarter back,
hee hee!

Dany Q: Where do snowmen keep there money?

In a snow bank!

fattony Q: why was the duck mad?

A: because he couldnt get his bill out of the mail.



kel Q: What do you call a dog that sits in
front of a fire?

A: A hotdog.

Chey Q. what did the tub say to the water?

A. run to me i’ll hold you.

smiley Q: Why do fish swim in saltwater?

A: Because pepper makes them sneeze

Wesley Q: Why did the girl tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?

A: So she wouldn’t wake up the sleeping pills.

cookie girl Q.Wich president was the biggest ham?

A. Abrahham Lincon of course

J rod Q: What kind of pet lives on the floor?

A: A carpet

andy Q: Why did the bee get married?

A: Because he found his honey

opedy Q.Why do birds fly south for the winter?

A. Because it’s too far to walk.

mike mike mcc Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Door bell repare man! Get it?

Spice Q: What do whales spread on their toast?

A: Jellyfish

KLC Q: What kind of bird is always sad?

A: A bluebird.

KCee Q: What’s the difference between a football and a duck?

A: You’ll find one in a huddle, and the other in a puddle.

Sunshine Q: What was the 1st animal in space?

A: The cow that jumped over the moon

bubba Q: What does a house wear?

A: Address

Brad Q: Why didin’t the coach trust his team???

A: Because there were to many sneakers in the lockerroom!!!!

Lil k.c Q: What happened to the cat that ate a ball of yarn?

A: It had mittens!

Zebedee Q: What does a GINGER-BREAD MAN use when he breaks his leg?


ice-crean sunday Q: What is a sharks favorite snack?

A: Fish and ships

emer Q: Why did the boy put the reportcard over his head?

A: He wanted to get higher grades

matt Q: In which garden doesn`t flowers

A: In a Kindergarden

jas girl Q: Why did the docter cross the patient room?

A: Becuse she didnt want to get a shot.

tony Q: What do you call two banana peels?

A: a pair of slippers

nicky. d Q: What do you call a sleeping Dinousour?

A: A Dinousnoras

nicky. d Q: What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

A: An envelope.

Nick Q: What does a cow say to a human?

A: When is it going to be moonday?

uncle bob Q: How is 2+2=5 and your left hand alike?

A: They both aren’t right.

Lizzy Q: What is black and white and read all over?

A: A newspaper

your_gurl Q: Why did the horse pass the note to the cow??

A: Because she was mootiful!

T-Bone Q: Where did dracula BUY HIS PENCILS?




zar Q. Where do the cows go on vacation?

A. To the movies.

Ruby Q: What did the duck want with his soup?

A: Quakers

its me Q: What drinks pop and sings at the same time?

A: A pop singer

rachel age 9 Q. Why did the bee get married?

A. Because he found his honey.

tigger Q: What did the mother buffalo say to her son that was going to college???

A: Bison

Katie Q: How do you save a hippo drowning in hot cocoa?

A: Throw in a marshmallow

Laura Acorn Q: Why did the caveboys and cavegirls have a easier time in school?

A: Because there was no history to study

Minny Girl Q: What did the hamburger name his daughter?

A: Patty.

TEE TEE Q: Why did the jelly roll?

A: It saw the apple turn over

Didi Q: What’s a camel with no humps?

A: A horse of course



CHEESE Q: What does a wizzard’s cat drink just before it goes to bed?

A: A sorcerer of milk

kangarrooooo18 Q: Which weighs more? a pound of feathers or a pound of lead.

A: They both weigh the same!(a pound)

funny Q: What kind of milk do you get from a sunburned cow?

A: strawberry milk

Cash Q: Why are chickens such good workers?

A: Because they work around the cluck.

Taylor Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?

A: A stick

Wheetius Q: What do you lose every time you stand up?

A: Your lap

hebs Q: What do you have year round but can only see in the winter?

A: Your breath

hebs Q: If you had only one match which thing would you light first? A wood burrning stove, Kerasein Lamp,or an oil burrning stove?

A: The match

Bradilydumbduck Q: Why did the pig get kicked off the football team?

A: Because he always hoged the

Sponkey Q: Why did mickey look up in space?

A: To find pluto his dog.

Q: Who was the first spy who went under water?

A: James Pond

jj the duck Q: What do you call a crate of ducks?

A: A box of quackers.

dodo Q: What’s baby Dil’s favorite ride???

A: The strollercoaster

Alissa Q: How do you get out of a house with a mirror and a table?

A: Look in the mirror, see what you saw.take saw, saw table in half.Two halves make a hole.Climb trough hole

~movie_star* Q: Why don’t elephants take a holiday?

A: They don’t like packing their trunks

Charlotte Q: What did Ernie say to Bert when he wanted some ice cream?

A: Sure Bert (sherbert)

pebbles Q: Why did the spider go on the computer?

A: To set up a web.

Ak Q: Why are elephants large,grey,and wrinkly???

A: Because if they were small,white,and smooth,they would be asprin!

Court Q: Why was the boy staring at the car’s raido?

A: He wanted to see a car-toon

kbs Q: When is a door not a door?

A: When it’s ajar.

Max S. age 9 Q: How can you communicate with a fish?

A: Drop it a line

Syaf Q: What letter of the alphabet can you eat?

A: A brown-E

Tashia Q: When there is a hole in a pumpkin what do you fix it up with?

A: A pumpkin patch.

maxy m. Q: What kind of a joke does a crow like?

A: Corny ones

austin Q: Why are kings babys?

A: Because there always sitting in a high chair

tyler Q: Why does a cat remind you of christmas?

A: Because of his sandie claws.

Christie Q: Why do birds fly south?

A: Because it was to far to walk

shelbyroo Bob: I fell off a 10 foot ladder.

Rob: Were you hurt?

Bob: No I fell off the second step.

Manny Q: What did the «sun» say to the moon?

A: Don’t you think I look «HOT»!

Manny Q: What do you call wood that has nothing to do?

A: Board!

Manny Q: Why shouldn’t you tell a joke to an

A: Because they will crack up!!

Manny Q: What did the plate say to the
other plate?

A: Lunch is on Me!

scotty Q: Where do chickens live?

A: In Ken-clucky.

Chris Q: What do hawks eat for dessert?

A: Mice Cream

pooh Q: What did the Crayon call her son?

A: Art

MINNIE MOUSE Q: How do your teeth stay together?


carbear Q: What flower is between the nose and the chin?

A: Tulip

tntonytiger Q: What did the teddybear say when she was offered dessert?

A: No thanks. I’m stuffed.

daredevil Q: What’s a witches favorite asignment?

A: Spelling

Frankie Q: What is the difference between a fish and a piano?

A: You can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish

Beth Ann Q: What did the star say to the little star?

A: Your to young to be out at night.

blue Q: Why did the moon fall down?

A: There where to many holes

cathy Q: What kind of pets do computers like?

A: A mouse

jon jon Q: Where does a computer take it’s sick pets?

A: To the intervet

eggcorn Q: What do you have to pay to go to school?

A: Attention

Sarah Q: What kind of rings do fruits where when they are getting married??

A: onion rings

Angel Q: What do ghost eat?


SHEADA Q: Do mummies like being mummies?

A: Of corpse! Of corpse!



ddduuutttyyy Q: Why didn’t the bike finish the race?

A: Because it was two tired!

PJ age6 Q: what is a fisherman’s favorite pitch?

A: A sinker

beaver cleaver Q: What is the best thing to take in the desert?

A: A thirst-aid kit.

aot Q: What did the magnet say to the second magnet?

A: «You’re very attractive.

aot Q: What did the invisible man say to his girlfriend?

A: «Baby, you’re outta sight.»

aot Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A: A cloud

Princess Q: Why was the mother flea mad?

A: All her children went to the dogs.

krissy811 Q: What is a skeletons favorite road?

A: Dead end!!!

Big eye (Andrea) Q: Whats the longest word?

A: Smile because it has a mile in it.

Ash Q: What did the pig do after school??

A: hamwork !!!!!

joy Q: When is a potato not Irsh?

A: When it’s a french fry

me Q: Why did the bee go home?

A: To go get his honey

jaybug Q: Why is the math book so grunpy?

A: Because it has to many problems.

julian Q: What do you call a snail on a ship?

A: A snailor!!

C-DOG Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?

A: Stick with me we’ll go places.

lil’z Q: What did the little acorn say when he grew up?

A: Geometry (gee I’m a tree)

sweet pea Q: What did the pancake say to the syrup?

A: We’re in a sticky situation, pal!

sweet pea Q: Why did the tomato smush it self?

A: Beacuse his dad said ketchup.

MR.GIGGLES Q: Why did the tree cross the road?

A: Because he wanted to leaf.

dragon Q: What’s green, has bumps, and plays football?

A: The Green Bay Pickles

Mr. B Q: What kind of music does bedrock listen to?

A: Bedrock and roll

Bo Bo Man Teacher: When I was your age I could name all the presidents in order from 1st to last.

Student: Yeah,but when you were my age there had only been 1 or 2.

cameron Q: What does one peanut say to another

A: You crack me up

Hannah banana Q: What is the name of the candy that is never on time?

A: Choco-LATE

magneto Q: Whats a frog’s favorite drink?

A: A diet croak!

iceerz zack ziomek Q: What radio is a pig most afraid of????

A: a HAMradio

bob Q: Why did the police go to the baseball field?

A: Because someone was stealing a base.

Air Bear Q: How does a horse greet his neighbor?

A: Howdy naaaabor

mel Q: Why would Snow White make a good judge?

A: Because she was the fairest of them all!

katty Q: On Valentine’s Day what did the
two volcanos say to each other?

A: I LAVA YOU! Ha,Ha,Ha!

Rupert Q. How do you make soup gold?

A. Put in 14 carrots!(Karrots)

Funny Q. What goes up but never comes down?

A: Your age!

whatever! Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?

A: Meet you at the corner

randy Q: Why are barbers such good drivers?

A: Because they know all the shortcuts!!!!

dolphin09 Two muffins were in a oven one muffin says to the other muffin
«wow it’s hot i here»
the other muffin replies
«AHHHHHHHHH a talking muffin»
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahah lonestar What do you get if you cross an electric blanket with a toaster?

You pop out of bed in the morning!

Pri why did a crab get arrested??????

because it kept it pinching

poppadom Q.The Blue House is in the left the red house is in right were is the white house

A. In Washinton D.C.

Funny Banas what room can a student never enter?

A mushroom

welcome what has 4 wheels 1 horn and gives milk?
a milk truck kitty What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?
Time to buy a new fence! Yodelady Q.what did king tut say when he was scard?

A.i want my mummie!

HISS-STORY RasberryKelly why did the women plant gold in the garden?

because she wanted rich soil

oj Q. What is a volcano?

A. A Mountain with hiccups

Tristin why couldn’t the kid see the pirate movie? because it was rated RRRRRRRRRRRRrrrr zack’s girlfriend What is harder to catch the faster you run?

Your breath.

SABBY knock knock, whos there?
hatch who.
bless you wiwib Why did the kid eat his homework?

Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!

megabucks whats the only ride that a baby can ride?

A strollar coster

nutt case Q:How did the teacher know Jessica was going to be an astronuat when she grew up?

A: She took up so much space in school

Syd Q: What is brown and smells like chocolate pudding

A: chocolate pudding

gupu What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish. joejoe Q:What’s a computers favorite board?

A: It’s mothers!



BATON QUEEN What is the hardest bow to tie?

A rainbow

Mackadamia What do you call two marred spiders


steveo Q:What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back.

A:a stick

yoda what kind of car does mickey mouse

a minnie van

katlynder 5/4 people are bad with fractions cool What did one wall say to the other?

Meet you at the corner!

pheeeeeeeeeelickz What do you call a deaf monster?

Anything you like he cant hear you

jake Q: Why do they have fences on

A: Because people are DYING to
get in.

Megsters (u know who I am) : ) pupil:miss would you shout at me for something i didn’t do
teacher:no, why?
pupil:because i didn’t do my homework. fairy Q.what do you call a mushroom at a party?

BO BO What has holes but holds water?

A sponge

Antonio why is a ghost always sad? Its always blue! Aillie Where do you take a sick wasp?

To the waspital!

hot roma what did the traffic light say to the car?

ANSWER IS: dont look,im changing.

Ant Why is a math book so grumpy?

Because it has so many problems.

Julian «What’s green and sings» «Elvis Parsley.» president somalia Q. How is 2+2=5 and your left hand alike?
A. They both aren’t right. Feather Q. What did the lawyer name his daughter.
A. Sue Feather Q. How does a cow do math?
A.It uses a COWculater Feather Docter,Docter I think I am a deck of cards!

Do not worry I will DEAL with you later.

Feather what do you call a flying elephant? a jumbo jet ning what is a fly a car and a pet. a flying carpet. pony What kind of underware did King Tutt where?

Fruit of the tomb.

pea.daddy (Q) whats a mummys favorite kind of music?

(A)wrap music

princess14 what did the rug say to the floor?
I got you covered caca A duck goes in to a store and buys some chapstick. The clerk asks if this will be cash or charge. The duck says just put it on my BILL logo Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because it was felling crummy. HA HA HA

Jerry Why can’t Potatos hear?
ANSWER:becaues Corn has ears and patatos have Eyes. cool dudeet What did the judge say to the skunk?
oder in the court,oder in the court Georgia What goes up and never comes down?
Your age. angel Teacher:»can you name two days of the week begining with the letter «T»?

Students: Today and Tomorrow

moon face why did the thermometer go to college?

Because he wanted to get a degree

moon face What do u call a dog with a
A «hot dog». Shay Baby what do call a girl with a weave?
unbeweaveable niny (Q)If an athlete has athlete’s foot, what does an astaurnat have?
(A) Missile Toe! Christine What is a ghosts favorite jam?
Booberry Jam! Sarah Knight A baby lion is chaseing a man around a tree.Mother Lion:Honey, don’t play with your food. quick boy what do u call a piece of wood that has nothing to do?

a board/ Ha!Ha!Ha!

maganter ‘waiter waiter theres a fly in my soup’
‘thats alright sir, he wont drink much’ chihuahua ‘waiter waiter, this soup tastes funny’
‘then why arent you laughing then?’ chihuahua waiter:we have almost everything on the menu sir’
Diner: so i see, will you kindly bring me a clean one?’ chihuahua ‘waiter, call the manager, i cant eat this stew’
‘he wouldnt eat it either sir’ chihuahua customer:’waiter waiter, theres a dead fly in my soup’
waiter(sobbing)’and he was so young’ chihuahua ‘waiter waiter, whats this fly doing in my soup?’
‘looks like its trying to get out sir’ chihuahua ‘doc-doct-docter, i ha-ve diff-i-cul-ty sp-eak-ing’
‘sorry i wasnt listening, could you repeat that?’ chihuahua ‘what illness do retired pilots get?’
‘flu’ chihuahua ‘doctor,doctor, my hair is falling out, can you give me anything to keep it in?’
‘how about a paper bag?’ chihuhaua music teacher:What is a pizzicato? student:Pizza for cats. crystal there were two muffins sitting in the oven
one muffin said «man its hot in here!»
the other muffin said»ahhhhh a talking muffin!!!» anna bannanna What do you get when you cross a
vampire & a teacher?

Lots of blood test!

Kate Girl What did Godzilla say to king kong? It’s a small world isn’t it? marsh What did Snow White say when she dropped off her film?

Someday my prints will come!!!! Hee Hee!! HoHo!! Ha Ha Ha!!!!

Diva *’s 001 {Q}What is as big as an elephant and doesn’t weigh anything?{A}It’s SHADOW abe A:What do you call to married

Q:newley webbed!

TABA A:What do you call two married

Q:newley webbed!

TABA What do you call to banana peals?¿
A pair of slippers/hahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha frogger the frog Three men walked into a building.You would think one of the men would’ve seen it! Lil’missy Q:What did the bird say on Valentines Day?

A: Your my treeheart.

smile Say your writing a bus you counted 20 houses and when u came back you counted 20 houses
how many houses are there?

20 because you counted the same 20 houses Hahaehha

Maria What did the horse say to the human ?

Nothing horses dont talk

alldayroma Q) why did the themoneter go to college`

a) to get a degree

WHINNIE-THE-PU Kitty (Q) what did the anouncer named his

(A) mike

pinklady Q:Why don’t animals eat clowns?

A:Because they taste funny.

Rachel what did the boy say when he saw his dog laying in the sun? ‘hotdog’ pelos Q: What is a bears favorite soda.

A: Coca Koala

Mohawk Q: Why did the cat tickle the mouse before he ate him?

A: He wanted a happy meal

JSHJ spell and say toast ten times. t o a s t. «toast» keep going.

Q: What do you put in a toaster???

A: Wrong!! BREAD!!!

hunny Q:how does a tree count?

A:like this one two tree

Nocktowl Q:Why did the boy eat his homework?

A:Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.

jay jay Q: What has a head at night and no head at day?

A: a pillow

p Q:What did the lifegaurd name his daughter?




beaver Q: what did the pacific ocean say to the atlantic ocean??????

A: nothing ,he just waved

jazzy Q: why did the orange run half way down the hill?

A: it ran out of juice

tesha t Q: Why did the dog cross the road?

A: To get to the «barking» lot!

tasha Q:Why did the cow cross the road?

A:To go and see the MOOOOOOOvie.

Chi Chi Q: What do you call a grouchy hamburger?

A: A crabby patty!!!!!!!!!!!



nAT Q: What did the traffic light say to the zebra?

A: Close your eyes im changing

Vinni what did the lettuce say to the tomato ……….look im ahead!! lol hehe katiebelle What part of a fish weighs the most?

ANS: the scales

Pips Q:Why did the pig take karate?

A:To be a pork chop.



SAE What is the hardest thing in skydiving

the ground

Billy Bob the 3rd Q: who won the skeleton spelling bee?

A: No Body!

megs Q:What do books carry with them when they dont have a phone?

A:They carry pagers.

karen Q What do you call a dog with no legs?

A you can call him all you want he still will not come to you

fo fo Q:Why do cats love computers?

A:Cause it comes with a mouse.

DMP why did the chicken cross the road half way?

she wanted to lay it on the line.

myrtle Q:What is the biggest ant in the world?


Avi Why was Cindrella late for the ball?

She forgot to swing the bat.

Lafy Tafy Who won the miss ghostly contest??

No body!

jana wana What did the fast french fry say to the slow french fry?»

You need to ketchup with me!»

nicki Question:
why are baseball players so cool?

because they have fans

pancho Where do fish cash a check?

At the river bank!

hopis What kind of phones do they use in prison?

Cell phones!!!!!!

pam What did the teacher say to the sweet student????

Your a piece of cake!!!!!



jess Q. What does a bee say when it flies backwards?

A. Zzzb. Zzzb. Zzzb.

Kalibug why did the duck become a spy?


because he was good at quacking codes

richyrich What starts with E,ends with E, and only has one letter?

An envolope

katherine R. Why do cows have bells.

Because their horns dont work.

Floww Where did tarzan go on his vacation?

To hollywood & vine!

CES What do you get when you cross a pond and a stream?

You get wet feet

RobMan Q:How Many Seconds Are In A Year?

A:12 Jan.2nd Feb.2nd March,2nd……..

K-Mak two guys are driving to disney land they come to a sign that says»disney land left» so… thay went back home!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JML Q:why couldnt the 11 year old see the pirate movie?

A:because it was rated argh

chaseroo Q:what is it called wene a ghost uses the restroom?


shorty Q.Why did the granny put rollar
skates on her rocking chair?

A.Because she wanted to rock and roll!

jackson.rose Q: What do birds eat for breakfast??

A: Tweet-bix

ping Q: Why did the ghost go up the elervator??

A: He wanted to raise his spirits.

ping imagine you are in a haunted house and your surronded by ghosts, vampires and evil monsters.

how do you survive??

stop imagining!!

ping Q: Why is the city of Ohio different?

A: Because it»s high in the middle and round at both ends.

ping Q:Why did the dog climb the tree?

ANS:Because he wanted to get the bark.

Pips why do giraffes have long necks?

because they have smelly feet!

Didie What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino: elephino Ghost Jones what is as big as an elephant
but weighs nothing?

elephants shadow!!!!!

alexis Q: What do you get when you cross an
octopus and a hungry shark?

A: An octagon!!!

Wally Q: Where is a pirates favorite place to

A: Arrrrrrrrby»s

Robby Rex Q: What did the lamp say to the pen?

A: click me on

skouter Q: What happens when a clock gets mad?

A: It gets ticked off!

DJPhatboi Q: Where does a cow like to go to eat?

A: MooDonalds (McDonalds)

cutiepie10 Q: Why didn»t the 11-year-old get into the pirate movie?

A: It was rated ARRRRR!

BOBBY Q: Why did the tomato blush?

A: It saw the salad dressing!

Bob-omb Person 1: Did you hear the one about the pencil?

Person 2: No. How does it go?

Person 1: Oh, nevermind. It»s pointless!



cute Q: What do you do with a blue whale?

A: Cheer it up

riddler Q: What has 4 «i»s but cannot see?

A: Missisipi

Ange Q.What did the cement say to the earthquake?

A.You crack me up with your jokes

Jessie Why did the banker take away the rinos credit card.

So he would stop charging.

TaLl Whats another name for a snail.

A booger with a crash helmet.

TaLl When do you see a cute person?
When you look at me. That’s true.
If you don’t think so come see me. Brandy Q:Why did the man start to chase the birds at the golf range?

A:So he can get a birde

CrAzY jAkE Why did the vampire go to the cafeteria?

ANS:He dropped in to get a bite!

Pips Person1,Did you hear the joke about the hole?


person1,Good. It was to deep for you.

Trey what did the octopus say to the girl octopus?

Can I hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand



PIMP Q.What do you call a worm in a apple.

A.A teachers pet

nemo A man said Doctor Doctor I think I need glasses
and the man said you certainly do sir this is a restaurant Hannah C. C what do you call a snail on a
A snailer pimp stuff what do you call a cow in an earthquake?

a milkshake



J-DOG Q:What did the spider say the fly
came to its web?

A:Welcome to my website!



KENDRICK AND TOBY What do you get when you cross an elephant and a goldfish

swiming trunks

winky why do Gorillas have big nostrals?

because they have big fingers

gangsta where do ghosts live?

In dead ends

chabernaberquire Q:What do the FBI people do when a tornado comes?

A:Go under cover

lady What is the best hair cut to give your lawn?

A MOWhawk!

Bryce Cyrier Why is there always a fence around the cemetery?

Because people are dying to get in!

Bryceman Q: why did the salesman go up the elevator?

A: he wanted to get a raise.

dad’s_gurl Whats green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!!! Ducky What do you get when a Jauger and a elephlet are together?

A: A Fancy car with a long trunk!

Punisher A:why did the cookie go to the doctors

Q:because he was feeling crumby



COTTONTAIL What did they give tweety when she was sick?

A medical tweetment

bubba What do oceans do when they pass each other?

They wave!

dan what does a fish say when it hits a cement wall?


smurf A:knock knock

B:who is there?

A:cow goes

B:cow goes who?

A:NO,cow goes moo

lil angle How many graves are in a grave yard??

All of them

Marie what do you get when you cross poison ivy and a 4 leaf clover

A rash of good luck!

little miss smarty pants Q.What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A.A gummy bear

articuno What do you get with a cow school play?

ANSWER: A moooooosical!

bigfoot the 3rd Q: Where did the cow take his date?

A: To the Mooooooovies!

JessLynn92 Q: should i tell you the story of the lemon?

a: I am sorry but its too sour for you feelings.



miss priss Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A: A cloud

jacko Q: What goes up and never comes down?
A: Your age frogwings Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey with a peach?

A: A peach gobbler(cobbler)

team krunch Q: Why are hair dressers good drivers?

A: They know all the good short cuts!

poo Q: If you cross a vampire with snow, what do
you get?

A: Frostbite!

piggygrl0123 Q: why was the leaf crying?

A: because it fell

kenzie q: why dosen»t a turkey eat much?

a: because he is always stuffed!

livee mae Q: What starts with P, and ends with the letter E?

A: A post office.

Angle Q: What did the ranch say to the salad?

A: cover me I»m dressing!

Sissy Q= what do you get when you cross a dog, a car and a bird?

A= a flying-car-pet!

monkey girl Q: Where do you always rake the leaves?

A: the ground

fuzzo Q: What is the differance between a bird and a fly?

A: A bird can fly but a fly can»t bird.

Popcorn (Q) why doesn»t a cheetah like to do laundry?

(A) it has so many spots

Brandon’s Girlfriend Q: what do you call a cat that went to red cross school?

A: a first aid kit

jesus girl Q: why did the computer go to the doctor?

A: because he has virus!

patty Q: What always ends evreything?

A: «G»

EmmyEm66 Q: why was the shoe talking?

A: because it had a tongue

maceo Q: what do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A: A sandwitch

brittthehit Q: why did the ketchup cross the road?

A: because he had to ketch up with the mustard



paige Q:what»s big gray and protects you from the rain?

A:An unbellaphant

hottie Q: what kind of milk do you get from a pampered cow?

A: Spoiled

hottie Pete and Repeat were sitting on a fence Pete fell off. Who was left?


Pete and Repeat were sitting on a fence Pete fell off. Who was left?


wako Q: What vehicle would a cow drive?

A: A milk truck!!!

Teacup Q: Why did they have to put a fence around the graveyard?

A: Because people were dying to get in!

GG Q:what did the math teacher make for snack

A: pie

funny Bunny Q: What kind of cheese isn’t yours?
A: nacho chesse Emmi Question: What do you call a cow sleeping on the ground???

Answer: Ground beef!!!



TWEETY Q: Who is santa’s wife???

A: Mary christmas

delter /q/ What starts with an e and
ends with an e with 1 letter in it?

/a/ an envelope

inu-girl Q: What is the highest building?

A: a library, because it has alot of stories. get it?!

tiffany Q: What did santa use when he twisted his ankel?

A: A candy cane

O’lela Q: What do you get when you cross a snowstorm and a cornfeild?

A: cornflakes

Allie (Q)why did mrs.mushroom marry mr.mushroom?

(A) because he was a fun….guy!

fay Q.What does a rat sound like in tap shoes

A.rat a tat tat

Ray Q.What do you call the musicial
part of a turkey?

A.The Drumstick.

birdie Q.Where do books sleep?

A.Under their covers.

Ry Q.What has wheels and a trunk but no

A.An elephant on roller blades.

Ry Q.What did the cook name his son?


Ry Q.What do you find in the middle of

A.The letter H.

Ry Q.Where did the snowman keep his

A.In a snow bank.

R Q.Why was the lamp flunking his

A.He wasn’t very bright.

Ry Q: Whats a dogs favorite instrument?
A: A TromBONE Lindsay Q. what can you hold without your hands?

A. Your breath!

vezza Q: Should I tell you the story of the body snatchers?

A: No, I’d better not you might get carried away

Bubblegum cuddlebun Q: What Did the Bug Say When He Hit the Winshield?

A: I would do that again but I don’t have the guts

Rattlesnake Q: What is the same between a farmers wagon and a dogs tail?

A: The tails a wagon

Ash Q: What do you call a mermaid in the artic ocean?

A: BURR!maid

candy Q: What kind of key dosen’t open a
A: a mon-key syd What goes oooooooh?

A cow with no lips

bud Question: What animal do you must duck under?

Answer: A duck

Astevin what time is it when a elephant sits on your watch?

Time to get a new watch!

sha sha Why did the baby chick go to the dollor store?

Every thing was «cheep cheep»

m and m sisters Q.How does an egg run?

A.It scrambles!!!!

hunter1243 FATHER: How are your grades, son?

SON: Under water, Dad.

FATHER: Under water? What do you mean?

SON: They’re below C level.

dude Knock Knock!

Who’s there?


Harry who?

Harry up I’m starved!

monkey girl What starts with p, and ends in e and has millions of letters in it?

A post office

livia What do you do if a rhino charges you?

You give him your credit card!!!

Lucas Walker What did the tree say to the other tree?

I’m rooting for you!

bonez What do you call a bubble in trouble?


bubble CHICK Do you want to hear the butter joke?

I’m not going to tell you. You might spread it.

coolchick What’s a fish’e worst day?


abe What do elephants use to talk to another elephants?
The elephone ashashmartin What is a monsters best day of the week?


cool chick What is the scarest day of the week?


princess cool What did the ghost eat at the party?

I scream

kit kat Q:Why is there no story about a vampire with a broken tooth?

A: There is no point to it!! Ha ha ha

Princess weirdo Why did spongebob wear to pairs of pants to
go golfing?

In case he got a hole in one!

lu Where do cows go on dates?

The moooovies!

jla What do snowman eat for breakfast?????

Snowflakes!! hahahaha

Trich5 Q.Did you hear about the unlucky sailor?
First he was shipwrecked then he was rescued
by the Titanic. hawk What happens when a panda causes trouble? Panda-monium! HA-HA tarty Q.Why do bears get grounded?

Because they growled at their mothers!

I’m bananas What kind of shoes do snakes wear?




ANNA BRITISH Question: What monster eats the quickest?

Answer: a goblin

tattoo How do you clean a messy tuba???????????

With a tuba tooth paste!!!!

how do If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims Chicken What did the quarter name his daughter? penny sammi Why are dragons bad bosses?

Because they keep on firing people

Berry What did the analog clock say to his mom?

Look ma no hands

Slowmo What did the mummy ghost say to the baby ghost?

Spook when your spooken to!

ambeee Did you hear the one about the skunk?

Don’t worry it stinks.

d-man What kind of keys do kids like????


cutie Do you want to hear the ceiling joke?
I should not tell you, it is too far above your head!
smileyman What Do Bees Wear When They Go Swimming???


Crystalite What room has no doors windows and no walls?

a mushroom

devin rizzo What does a dog and a tree have in common?

They both bark

DRY Q.Why did the vampire go to the doctors.

A.because he needed a blood test. ?

katey Why do sharks live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze!

pealsapples What kind of dog can tell time?

A watchdog!

Cassie Q. What runs around the garden without moving?

A. A fence

ems Q.what kind of beans are humans?

A.human beans

mike jones Q:Why did the lady chase her nose?

A:Because it was running

Claire Bear Q.What do u call when a Vampire bites
a Snowman?


Courtney Stagg Why did the «Fun Guy» leave the party?

Because there wasn’t mushrooms!

Totally Toast A duck walks into a candy shop byes a stick of gum.
The cashier askes cash or charge?
The duck says put it on my bill! K Q. What did the boss say to the electrcian when he was late?

A. Wire you insulate?

krisy What animal do you not want to play cards with?

A cheet-ah

Rach Q: How many seconds are in a year?

A: 12 starting with the second of

Singing Shat What is a ghosts favorite lunch meat?
Boolony scott payton Q.why did the old lady put wheels
on her rocking chair? she could rock and roll!

kitkat What did the computer do at lunch time?
Had a byte Rossy Why is a classroom like an old car?

Because its full of nuts and has a crack at the front.

Hanmin What did one zombie say to the other?

Get a life!

hammy What goes up when the rain goes down?

A. an umbrealla

T.V. GIRL SHEA Q: Why did the teacher have to get glasses?

A: Because she could’t control her pupils!!!

sweet-e-pie Q .what do u call a alligator who lives in a alley.

A. a alleygator

lexie Why are fish bad at tennis?

They don’t want to go near the net!

1 blink 2 blink Why do cheetahs don’t like playing hide and seek?

Beacause they all ways get spotted!

Wiggles Why do babies like to play basketball?

They like to dribble!

rachy Q. What do you get from nervous cows.


bc100 What did the crocodile say to an aligator?

See you later alligator.

The alligator said:
after awile crocodile

anneka1111 What does a witch math teacher give you?

A math curse

GATE student Q. What did the bowling ball say to the pin?

A. Lets roll

cisco dood What do ya say when a dinosaur does’t see ya?

I don’t think he saur-us

dino Q. Who does a football coach go fishing with?

A. His tackle

patrick parker Does any animals have keys?

Yes, Monkeys and Donkeys

zorra What do you call cheese that is not yours?

Nocho cheese.

cool kulls What can lift up a plane?

A pilot.

Reani TEACHER: Go to the map and find North America.

student Stephen: here it is.

TEACHER: correct. now class who discovered America?

CLASS: Stephen

nia123 Q:What Kind of Dogs can Jump Higher Than A Building?

A: Any Dog -A Building Can’t Jump.

honeyface How did the soilder fit a tank inside of his house?

A: It was a fish tank!!!!

Ghetto Gurl Amer: Dad can u write in a dark

Dad: I think so. What do u want me to write.

Amer: Your name on my report card

Maryum What did one eye say to the other?

There’s something that smells
between us.

Daisy Q.Why did the teacher jump in to the lake?

A.Because she wanted to test the water.

Betsy A deer a skunk, and a duck go into a restrant. When it is time to pay , the deer did not have a buck, the skunk did not have a cent, so they put it on the duck’s bill! Goldie Which is the biggest jam?

traffic jam

amru Where do sheep go on vacation?

The Bahahahama’s!



MC HAMMER What washes up on small beaches?


Bee A man went to the doctor and said, «I have a memory problem.»
The doctor said, «OK. Tell me more about your problem.»
The man said, «What problem?» klj What did Mona Lisa say when she was hauled into court?

I was framed!!!!!!!!!!!!

jk How do you know if there is a dinosaur under your bed?

You listen for the dino-snoar

bugs321456987 What did the nickle say to the penny…

I have more cents than you!!!

mocca Why did the woman hold her purse out in the rain?

She wanted to see if there was any change in the weather.

siris the viris TEACHER: Class we are learning about the history of milk.Turn to page 124 in your book.

STUDENT: Can’t we just skim it?

Emily Q. What is the difference between
a pig and a squirrel?

One eats corn and one eats acorn!!!!!

Ann What does a bee do flying backwards?

zuzub zzub zzub

beans What do you see on a clear day in California? U.C.L.A. cowgirlup95 What goes up but never comes down?

Your Age

cowgirlup95 How do u make freinds with a squirrel?

Climb a tree and act like a nut

A BEEKINI KITTY What did one tree say to the other?

Are you stumped on that problem?

shannygirl What did the giant do when he stubbed his toe?

He called a tow truck!

Crazy Aaron What does a 200 pound mouse say to a cat?

Here kitty kitty kitty!!!!!!!!

Crazy Cowgirl why did woody (on toy story) have alot to say?

They kept pulling his string.

baby balla What is your date of birth?

July 15.

Which year?

Every year.

HARRIS Whats the difference between a bird and a fly?

A bird can fly but a fly can’t bird.

gem gem What do you call a robo skunk?


Flame How do u spell hard water with
3 letters?




LELE Dad:Are you hungry?.

Dad:Nice to meet you hungry…whats your last name?

ninja boy What asks no questions but requires many answers?
The doorbell! twetty What do vampires wear in the fall?
Bat-to-school clothes. HaHaHaHa! tweety A man walks into a doctors office and says «I have a Memory problem»

The doctor says «OK tell me more about your problem»
The man says «What problem?»

cowgirlup95 what do you call a train full of toffee?

A chew chew train!

storm What is a clouds favorite color?

Every color of the rainbow!

sra What do you get when you pass milk and ducks?
Milk and qwackers. kk Spell fork 3 times

spell pork 3 times

what do you use to eat soup?

a fork

no a spoon

babe Q: what do you call a grizzly bear in the rain?

A: Drizzly Bear!

Natalie Marin Why was Mother Owl upset with Junior Owl?

Beacause he didn’t give a hoot
about doing his homework

MLC where does mickey (in ninja turtles)hate to be sited in a restaurant?

In a non-joking section.

night wing What do you call a wizard with a runny nose?

Harry snotter

Abbie What did the two history teachers
about on there date?

Old Times

cutie pie What is the most musical part of a turkey?

The drumstick

Neha Madeyanda How does a ghost cry?


Neha Madeyanda What is an Alligators favorite drink? Gatorade. Hahahahaha Magic Girl What do you get when you cross a porcupine & a pig?

Porky Pine

Morgstar man Q.what do you call a dinosaur with 1 eye jh Q. what did the armless man say to the robber?

A. you wouldn’t shoot an unarmed man would you?

jimmy Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

A. Because they wouldn’t stop saying «Bach, Bach, Bach.»

Del Teacher: I would like one of you to say a sentence using defeat
defence and detail.

Student:De feat of de dog went over de fence before de tail.

Del A duck and a rabbit went to a restaraunt who do you think paid?

The duck he had the bill!!!!!

MC Mong Kle you’ve owed me 50cents for weeks. I’ll tell you what. I’ll forget half of what you owed me.
Ok I’ll forget the another half. monkey What’s a pirate’s favarite letter?

Arrhhh (R)

Shawnella why couldnt the bike move any more.
The bike was to tired. ha ha ha sparky Patient: doctor, doctor, I have 59 seconds to live!

Doctor: I’ll be with you in a minute

winker What did the coffie bean say to the other coffie bean?

How have you bean today?

Erica Teacher: Today class we will have a
halfday this morning.


Teacher: we will have the other half this afternoon?

G-dog Two muffins were in a oven.
The first muffin said: «Boy, its hot in here!»

The other Muffin said : AAAAHHHH a talking muffin!!!!»

Heather what did the plate say to the other plate?

lunch is on me.

na nehn babo Why are gorilla’s nostrils so big?

Because their fingers are!!!

Sarah Q:What type of lizard do you find in the Sydney Opera House?

A:The lizard of OZ!

Samio Patient: Doctor! Doctor! I just ate a pen

Doctor: Well, sit down and write your

Edison What do you put on a pumpkin when he has a cut?

A pumpkin patch!

Pretty Princess How do babies cheat at nursery school?

crib notes

bo bo man why did the police man
watch the baseball game?

Because somone stole second!

base ball game Why was the spider on the computer?

Because the spider was finding a web site!

knrk Flight assistant: «would you care for an orange juice»?

Person:»if it needed me»

ppp ooffff How do you know Saturns been married so many times? Because he has so many rings roxy Why did the robber paint his hands blue?
Because he didn’t want to get caught red handed twiz what has no beginning, no end, and nothing in the middle? A doughnut mano What did the metric alien say?

take me to your liter.

two two girl Why are horses so hard to get along with?

Because they always say «NEY»!

George Q:»Waiter why is my food flat?»

A:»because when you ordered it you told me to step on it.»

lilash Why didn’t the lion eat the clown?

Because they taste funny!

LauraJessie97 What did the octupus say to the lady octopus?
I want to hold you Hand, Hand, Hand,Hand, Hand, Hand, Hand, Hand, Hand Bubbles WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THE WOODEN CAR ?


DUCKY GIRL tom took a mushroom called henry everywhere with him.
one day mary said ‘why do u take that mushroom with u every where u go?’
tom replied ’cause hes a fungi to be with!’ rachee what occurs once in a minute
twice in a moment
but never in a day?

The letter M

scraggycat MARK : doctor doctor I keep seeing double!

DOCTOR : sit on this chair

MARK : which one?

rachee which candle burns longer,a red one or a green one?

neither, they both burn shorter!

dogalog Which state has a ton of laundry to do? Washington! nene 012thisle Why can’t the leopard escape the zoo?
He always gets spotted!!! gina228 Mike: Do you beleive in love at first sight?

Sally: Not from where I’m standing.

cheese What starts with T ends with T and is full of T

A Teapot!!!!!!!!!!!

Hana Mary: This is a cool baseball game.

Tom:I’m Hot

Tom:Lets go by Jim

Tom: He is a big fan!!!!!!!!

Hana What did the story-telling cat say when he backed into the electric fan????

Thats the end of my TALE, TAIL

Hana what do most people like to put in
their cake?
THEIR TEETH!!!! chris brycz What do you call a fake noodle?
an impaster! madzangill What did the baby corn said to his mother?

Ans:Where is my pop corn?

kittyblubber Why are little Egyptians confused?
Because there daddys are mummies. Lil John Q: What is a mummys favorite music?

A: Rap Music

Jack What kind of jacket does an octopus wear?

Answer: An ARMY jacket

duckey Mark: Teacher how do you spell rat.

Teacher: R-A-T.

Mark: No, how do you spell rat.

Teacher: What sentence are you using it in.

Mark: My mother told me to get in rat in.

ANWSER: AN ANT-BULANCE! isy What is a foot that has no toes?

A ruler!

sjrocks!!!! Why did the jelly bean go to school?

Because it wanted to be a smartie

Star Baby What’s the ghost team that won the world series?

The boo jays

WHEN THERE IS A FORK IN THE ROAD peanut Teacher: Give me a sentence using the words defeat, defence and detail.

Student: De feet of de dog went over de fence before de tail.

coolie Q.When is the best day to go to the beach?

A. Sun-day.

BECAUSE HE DIDINT WANT TO BE A PARTY POOPER! dude passenger: «which end of the car do I get off?».
conductor: «either one. it stops at both ends.» joel How do you now your a pirate?

your just arrr

bum Q: Railroad crossing railroad cars, can you spell that without any R’s?

A: T-H-A-T

shelb Why is Alabama the smartest?

Because it has 4A’s and a B

Cindy Q.Why was the Egyption boy confused?

A.Because his daddy was a mummy!

Cutie Did you hear about the spaceship?

It is out of this world.

Pile-o-mud What kind of soap do seacreaters use?
tide twiff Q: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?

A: Because she had bright children!!!!

J.C. teacher: make a sentence with liver and cheese.
student: liver alone cheese mine! Candy Where were you when you cut off the lights?

In the dark!!! ha ha ha

jessie Were does the spaghtti dance?

At the meatball!

Meatballs q: where do monsters like to swim?

A: in lake erie

squirt Q-why did the belt go to jail

A-because it held up a pair of pants

fishy frog Q-what do you find in kids noses?

A-finger prints!

baby girl Where did the farmer take his pigs on a sunny Sunday

On a pignic

Ky Why was the mosquito up so late?
It had to study for its blood test missy What trees do fourtune tellers look at?

palm trees

box head Q:

Why did the kid put hay under his bed?


To feed his nightmare!

Lavender10 Mike: Mrs.Applebee,would I get in trouble for something I didnt do?

Teaher: Of course not Mike.

Mike:Good,Cause I didnt do my homework.

nerdyprep My mom thinks that I’m very bright.
That is why she always calls me son. ET What’s a cats favorite color?
purrrrrrrrrrple silly sasauges Why could Peter pan fly?

Because he could never never land.

caity Why can’t you tell jokes while you’re ice skating? ANSWER: the ice will crack up! A-a Q: What does every skeleton say before meals?

A: Bone-appetite!

A-a Why did the batter build his house on legs?
so he could have a homerun Dewy What turns red when you scratch its head?????

A match

dusty why did the girl run around her bed?


MONKEY What do you call a monkey that stinks.
A funky monkey montell take that mask off its not
halloween! pimp Why do sharks live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them

sharkman What did the mayonnaise say to the

Don’t spread it onto thick

Dee Why did batman go in a tree?
To look for Robin Gieco Q:Why doesn’t the king and queen play cards?
A:Because jokers are wild!!!!! Froggy When is a door not a door?

When its a jar

brandon What’s the tallest building in your city?
A Library of course! Because it has the most stories Vman What does the bee comb his hair with?

A honeycomb!

sara Why was the car so stinky? it had way to much gas! lo What did 1 skunk say to the other? Let us spray. Loebeth Why don’t aliens get hungry?

Because of the mars, the milkyway and the galaxy.

abbi dabbi doo What do you get when you cross a elephant with a computer?

A ton of knowledge

cutie 3 Why did the orange go to the doctor?

Because he was peeling!!!!

beach babe Money isn’t everything.
There’s Also VISA, MasterCard and Credit Cards. Mandy What is a boxers favorite

A Knuckle Sandwich

lil jj doctor doctor i feel like a pack of cards!

I will deal with you later

sunshine What did the orange say to his mom?

«I’m not peeling well.»

C.A.T Why did Max wear a helmet to bed?

Because he wanted to crash!

Bear-Bear Why were the elephants kicked out of the pool?
Because they couldn’t keep their trunks up. divajd What did the math book say to the pencil?

I have alot of problems.

ANWSER:TULIPS KITTY What animal needs to wear a wig?

A Bold Eagle

missy Q: how do you fix a rubber duck

A: duck tape

TWIFF What do you call a box of ducks? A Box of quacks! ha! ha! ha! ha! chey knock knock.
who’s there?
radio who?
radio not here i come. radio What’s a snakes favorites subject? hisss tory dan doctor doctor I think I’m a pair of curtains.
Pull yourself together then tunny What is a Basketball Players
favorite kind of story?

Tall Tales

twin B What did the snake write at the bottom of the note?
L0VE AND HISSES. missy Why was the piano on the porch?

Because it forgot it’s keys!!!

AngiePangie What sort of fish comes out at night time?

A starfish!!!!!!

cookie Why did the flamingo lift up one leg to drink water? because if he lifted up the other leg he would’ve fell!!! princess What did one candle say to the other?

lets go out together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

melissa Q: What is a vampires favorite sport

A: batmintan

robert eric anthony hennick of the joke Man: what is a million yrs. ?

God: A second to me.

Man: What is a million $ ?

God: A million $ is like a penny to me.

Man: God, will you give me a million $ ?

God: Sure, just wait a second! lol


because she wants to catch up on her sleep!!!

lgirl How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but she changes it into a toad!

Lizzy Q.which is the longest bus in the world?

A. Syllabus!!!!!!!!!

saturn Q. Which is the longest rope in the world?

A. It’s Europe!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturn Why didn’t the nickle roll down the hill with the penny????
It made more cents!! Carolineeee Q:If it takes 2 men,2 hours to dig a hole,how long does it take 1 man to dig a half a hole?

A:You can’t dig half a hole.Ha! Ha!

Cow What did the banana say to the guys joke?

You split my sides!

Billy Bob Joe knock knock
whos there
isabell who
isabell necessary on your bike joker Q: Where does a polar bear keep his money?

A: in a snowbank!

ROOT BEER! MAWC Q: Where would you find your lost dog?

A: In The-Lost-And-Hound

duty What does a basketball player have in common with a baby?

They both dribble

kay kay If three ghosts run a race which one will win?

The one with the most spirit
ha, ha ,ha

beebetz Why did the girl think she was in charge of the class?

because she had the ruler
ha, ha, ha

beebetz Who did Frankinstein take to the dance?
His goul freind! Beaver Where does vampires take baths? In the batroom! Beaver Boy how do you start a teddy race?

Reddy, Teddy, Go!!!!

The joker Why did the girl think she was the ruler of the soccer field?

Because she had the yard stick!

HOTTIE knock knock.
whos there?
Britney who?
knock knock.
whos there
Ops I did it again joker kyle:Hey michel I can spell something that has over a hundred letters in

Michel: What?

Kyle: Post office!

fifer slicer What did the cow say when she was bored.

There’s nothing to do-o-o-o

Bilesha &Kourtney’s Joke sick person:Doctor Doctor i feel like a branch off a tree.

Doctor : try not to snap!

POYSON Why did the Hamburger go to the gym?

To get better buns!!!!

Who’s Funny? Q: What do you give a hungry tiger??

A: Anything it wants!

Melissa do you now why the boy had a measuring tape under his pilow?

because he seeing how long he could sleep

Tina Q. A wasp got hurt where did it go?

A. The waspital

tanya how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
he could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck chucks if a wood chuck could chuck wood cookie Where do fish keep their money?

in river banks. lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

katie bug What is green outside and red inside?


Yos How do you stop your pets from getting ticks?

Don’t let it wear a watch

Raman Q; What do you do if your toe falls off?

A: You have to call a toe truck

dirty dog Q: What is a monster’s favorite drink?

A: ghoul-aid!

Rajavi Daughter: Mom I’m home.

Mom: Where have you been the FBI
was looking all over for you?

Daughter: The FBI?

Mom: Yes your Father,Brother,and I!

Jazz Ok, your in a race and a kid runs
faster than you.
What do you do?

Drink catch up!!!!!!

kyliy Q. What is the smallest room?

A. a mushroom

greensom What do you do when a dragon sneezes.

Run for the fire extinguisher!

zee What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frost-bite Tony Billy’s mom had four kids Penny, Nickel, and dime what was the fourth ones name?
Billy!!! Get it? Billy’s mom. dance How do you know there is an elephant in your refrigerator?

There is 1 set of foot prints!

How do you know there are three elephants in your refrigerator?

You can’t shut the refrigerator door!!!!!!

TIFF-TIFF What weighs nothing and is as big as an elephant? An Elephant’s shadow! dog Why did the nurse bring a RED marker to school?

In case she had to draw blood!

what is on top of a house?


don omar Why did the kid bury the flashlight underground? Because the batteries were dead squeeze neice What do you get when you mix Yu-Gi-Oh with homer? Yu-Gi-d’oh nickman Where does santa clause swim?
the north pool yo yo Why was the customer of Burger King on the roof?

Because the waiter said, » Burger’s on the house.»

DON’T WHACK A MOLE FREAKY GIRL Did dinosaurs have telephones?
No, but the croc-dial did Ace Bunny What did the egg say to the clown? you crack me up lucky HOW MUCH IS 5Q+5Q?
WELCOME! ding dong WILMA: What time is it when seven hungry lions are chasing you?

HALEY: uuuh.
HALLEE: I do not know.

WILMA: seven after one

hEnRiEtTa LuCiLe What did the cake batter say to the baseball glove? A:Batter-up! crazy lady Q.What did the waiter learn when he joined the navy?
A.How to take orders!!! tedddymonster What is the perfect souvineir?

Handcuffs Because they are made for two-wrists! (tourists)

Miranda Panda what did the digital clock say to his mom?

look mom no hands!hahaha
get it.

speeder-65 what did da policeman say to his tummy?

ur under a vest!!!!!!!

lol What kind of shoes do frogs wear?

Open toad sandals.

Tiff waiter waiter!
There’s a bee in my soup! Of course, it’s alphabet soup! jj What did the north say to the south?

We are positive together

ash man: Theres a fly in my soup!

waiter: That will cost extra!!!

da king yeado What is a mummy’s favorite food?

A wrap! That is the funniest joke EVER!

funnybunny BOY:EWW! Theres a bug in my fries!

CAFETERIA LADY: Don’t worry, kid. The spider in your burger will eat it up in no time!

Crazy Smiling Face Q: What did the ghost say to the panda bear?

A: BamBOO!

spaggetti and meatballs What does 24 feet of water and a bad report card have in common?

They’re both under C level!

hhharrypppotter Q: Can you drop a full glass but not spill any water?

A: Yes if the glass is filled with milk!!!

carecat what happened to the bird who was ill
he had to have tweetment bambi Why are twin witches hard to tell apart? They can’t tell which witch is which. lollollollollollollol!!!!!!!!!!!! candy girl Q. What kind of stick do you use for your lips?

A. A Chapstick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sunrise What do you get when you cross
superman and a bowl?
SuperBowl Nicky Why did the farmer name his pig ink? Because it kept running out of his pen hgidt What do you call a strawberry when it is sad?

A blueberry!

applesoup What place is a ghost scared of?A living room skippy What did the mommy volcano say to the baby volcano? I lava you Andrew what does a rockstar and a geologist have in common?
they both like rock chelsey h Who is the newspaper editor’s favorite person?

A: The Press-ident

Spitfunny101 doctor: I have some good news and bad news.

patient: whats the good news.

doctor: you have 24 hrs. to live.

patient: whats the bad news.

Doctor I have been trying
to tell you that sense yesterday.

the boss Why did the orange roll half way down the hill. cause it ran out of juice. joker What is an aliens favorite game? All star baseball lord What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appetit! charchar What kind of cut does the bee get? A buzz cut alley Where do sheep go on vaction?
To the Bahamas!!!! Jenny What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?
use a cow-culator samantha What is the begining of eternity the end of time and space. The middle of forever and the end of every place? The letter E! Ha Ha! Isaac Techer: Where are you from?

Student: Kenya.

Teacher: Oh what part?

Student: All of me.

cutiebear Why did the knife go to the doc?
Because he had a splitting headache. waldo What has 18 legs and catches flies? a baseball
team! Phily Did you ever hear about the goldfish that got robbed?
Now he’s a bronze fish!! sharky What would you do if a rhino charged at you 60mph?

I’d do 70.

London girl A man found a pig and a police officer said to take it to the zoo.

officer: so you took the pig?

man: yes, and we had so much fun at the zoo, today we’re going to the park!

chel What did the teacher say to the horse when he came into the classroom ? Answer -why the long face Tiana What did one flee say to the other?
Do you want to walk or do you want to take the dog? piemasterzach Why are trees loud?
Because they have a bark! Angel What did the baby corn say to the mother corn?

Aswer:Where’s popcorn

awawawawawawawawa Where do mise go for vacation?
The leening tower of cheesa! acacia why could’nt the pirate play cards?
answer:he was standing on the deck dinoducks4eva Q: where do you get dumb gum from.

A:A dumb ball machine.

spo What did the fish say to the octopus when he had lemonade?
answer-don’t be such a sour-pus! candygirl What is Santa’s favorit place to go? Lake Ta ho ho ho!
HO HO HO! Kristail What Did the Rhino say to the Hippo when it was her birth day?
Hipp- Hipp Horay!!! Mrs.Piggy what goes hahahathump?

A man laughing his head off

Jess n Tina Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter Bubbles Receptionist; Docter, Docter, there’s an invisible man outside waiting for you!

Docter; Tell him I can’t see him at the moment

Fizzy Q:Why did the jelly been go to school? A: Because he wanted to be a smarty. Pipolo Jive What kind of duck never quacks? DUCK TAPE! Pooh Doctor: Whats wrong?
Banana: I don’t peel well munshcin patient:doctor doctor i feel like a pair of curtains.
doctor:well pull your self together then Amy what do computers like to eat?
megabytes little monkey How is the little shark who swalled the silver dollar?no change yet. fizz patient:doctor doctor i feel like a cowboy!
doctor: how long have you been feeling like this?
patient: about a yeeeeehhhhhhaaaaaa demidob Teacher! Teacher! my sister is only 5 years old and she can spell her name backwards Teacher thats quite remarkable what is her name ANNA Beksy WHAT IS BLACK AND WHITE AND RED ALL OVER?


T-DOG What did pooh say to his agent?

Hand over the honey!

lou-lou The frog asked the lady bug how many spots do you have? The lady bug replied none I use moisturizer jelly Why did the computer went to the store? to go buy some chips. t-bone I have 52 heads,

26 legs and

88 hands

Who am I?

A liar

EJD What do you call a T-Rex with
Spider Man?

A man eating spider!

LINZZ chealsea: i bet i can make you say blue.

maddison: try me

chealsea: whats the color of the chalk?

Maddison: green

chealsea: told you i could make you say green.

Maddison;no you said blue. uh oh.

kennedy Why did the basketball player go to the doctor?

A: To get more shots

maddy Patient: Doctor,Doctor a crocodile bit my toe!

Dotor: When did this happen?

Patient: When it bit me!

scardycat How much dirt is in a hole six feet
deep and two feet wide? None it’s
a hole kkc good news:two boys climbing up a tree
bad news:one fell out
good news:there was a net underneath
bad news:there was a rake beside it
good news:he missed the rake!
bad news:he missed the net too! maloki What are the one candy that a ghost will never eat?
Life Savers sibertiger Where do polar bear keep there money? In snow banks. Nelliesamantha what do you call a dinosaur that can’t see?
do-ya-think-he-saw-us maloki Why couldnt the elephant go on the plane.
His trunk didn’t fit under the seat kool why did the ghost wear a bandage?
because it had a boo-boo!!! leo sandoval What did one math book say to the ot the other?
I got more problems then you! kjp what’s the hardest thing about skydiving?
The ground maloki how could you tell when a ghost is lying? you could see right threw them. Smoothy TEACHER:Max,how many letters are in the alphabet?

TEACHER:that is incorrect.there are 26.
MAX:there used to be 26, but E.T went home in a U.F.O and the C.I.A went after him.

APPLESOUP why do dragons breath fire?because they need to let off steam. aragon Jim:did you hear about the man who hijacked a boat?
Jill: He asked for 2 million dollars and a parachute meanie Joe:I think sports games are boring.


Joe: I know the score before it starts.

Adam: What?

Joe: 0 to 0

jr. what does a cat say if he/she wants to play :cat i play to you why couldn’t the elephant ride the bike? because it had no thumbs to ring the bell!!! leo sandoval Why is a football stadium cool?
Because there`s a fan in every seat!!!! Leigh why was the moon not hungry!!!!! because it was full moon What kind of star goes to jail ?

A shooting star

cooko why are teachers different from trains? one says spit out your gum and the other says chew chew chew. Benny What do you call a fish without a eye?Fsh Fish whats a sharks favorite game? swallow the leader averi cherie williams Did you hear the story about the germ? Nevermind, I don’t want it to spread. Eyeball BETTY: Doctor,I seem to have been seeing purple monsters with pink spots.
DOCTOR: Have you seen an eye doctor?
BETTY: No. Just purple monsters with pink spots. HA! HA! HA! LADYBUGGY Hey Mike what do you get when you cross a chicken and a turkey? I don’t know what do you get when you cross a chicken and a turkey? You get a turken! babyphat why was the police in bed? he was a undercover cop kekoboy son: i brought a pair of comauflage trousers the other day

father: well why aren’t you wearing them?

son: because i can’t find them

vic and nic What are the strongest days of the week?
Saturday and Sunday because the rest are weekdays. JAZZWOMAN why do you need to pack a band aid in your lunchbox? for the cold cuts. bubbles Max:I’m sorry my son can’t come to school.
Secertary:Who is this?
Max:This is my mom. JRB Joe: mom, wanna hear a long joke?

mom: sure honey

Joe: jooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooke

freddybobjoe & lolulo girl There’s a red house, a white house, and a blue house. The blue house is on the left. The red house is on the right. Where is the white house? In Washington,DC!! johnny Molly: What runs all around a soccer field but never moves?

Kirsten: I don’t know what?

Molly: A fence!

Munky Why did the fish stay home from school?

She was feeling a little under the water.

tcat What do you get when cross an insect with a rabbit?

Answer:Bugs bunny

super man There is this one story house that has pink walls and pink everything.
What color would the stairs be?
There is no stairs in a one story house no name Q.Why did the robber wear blue gloves?
A. cause he didn’t want to get caught red handed. Krissy What do you do when your auntie is sick?

Give her some auntieseptic.

vicky.b. How many cookies can you eat on an empty stomach?

A: Only 1 because after you eat one its not empty anymore!!

baby d What did the math book say to the math book?

I have a lot of problems

gabby What do you call a man with no legs and no arms in your mailbox?


homie g Q. What did the cloud say to the sun?

A. I’m a little under the weather!

blubber nugets Where do you leave your dogs when you go to a football game??


home slice Why is it bad to do math in a jungle?

Because if you add 4 and 4 you get ate

Blubber Q. Why couldn’t the mummy answer the phone?

A. He was all tied up !

Blubber Why did the banana go to the doctors

Because he wasen’t peeling well

Alexandra What do you call a berry that is always sad?


reef BACON:How’s the weather down here?

EGG:It’s a little sunny side up!!

REEF Q: When is a car not a car

A: When it turns into a driveway

sari Why did the sun give a half moon a sandwich? Because he wasn’t full. Niqua Q: Why do cows wear bells?

A: Because their horns don’t work !

Anonomus What is your name?
How do you spell it?

B I L L.

I spell it I T

jess Q. What do bats call the bathroom?

A.the batroom

dwinkly finkly What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you!!

bonz What has a head and a tail but no body

A Quarter

buldoge A pizza man and a banker are similar because their good with dough. pooh what did the big telephone say the little telaphone??? you are to young to get engaged XxholzxX What did the plane do before it landed?
Took Off princess jess Why are penguins so popular on the internet?

because they have web feet

chancha987 How does a cow count?

with a cowculator ha ha ha

jess Q:What did pirate see the movie?

A:Because it was rated (a)R!

FROGGIELUV!!!!!!!!! Q: Why was the ant so confused?

A: Because all of its uncles were ants.

Sk8r Gurl Q: Where did the boat go when he was sick?

A: The doc

froot loop Where did the pencil go on its
vacation? Pennsylvania! superstar101 What does a owl say when he meets someone?


Twinkie Teacher:Johnny give me two pronouns.



Blubber nugets Man:Doc Doc, my wife thinks she’s a Motorbike

Doc:Give her this.

Man:But if I do, how am I to get home?.



SALIMAH Why was the spy in bed?

Because he was undercover!LOL!!!!!

~supastar~ Patient:Docter Docter! I keep getting this pain in my throat after i drink hot chocolete!

Docter: Way don’t you try taking out the spoon

Smiley Girl What do you get if you cross a teacher and a vampire?

A blood test

jayjay Q.What did the sheep say to the other?

A. I’m maaaad at you

cool owl What did the duck said to the other? I quack you duckhead What does a lamb do when it calls its mom?

Hi Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

1Emu What did one cat say to the other?

You look purrrrrfect

unsmart Q:Why did the monkey start dancing.

A:Because he went bananas!

CrazyMonkey What is the tallest building?

The library because it has the most stories.

Spokes What do you call a pig on a hot


Princess Q.why was the elephant afraid of the computer

A.because of the mouse

a WOOLY JUMPER HUSHA What did one snowman say to the other?

«can you smell carrots»!

melissa thornley What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?

Get dressed up, the doctor is taking us out

Klever Kimbo What did the red fish say to the blue fish?

you’re looking blue, do you feel well?

Pokemon girl Brian:
Doc I am having a problem in remembering things

And when did this problem start?

Problem? What problem?

peguines What do you call a man who tried to steal a cat?
A catnapper Robert K. What does a tree drink at a party? root beer a What do you call a city with over 2500 eggs?
New Yolk City froglips What has 4 legs but can’t walk? A chair fishy Why did the orange go to the hospital?

It was not peeling well

Monkeylover What goes up but never goes down?

your age

ghdfgdfc What kind of fish lives in holy water?

an angelfish

lol What did Mona Lisa say when she was hauled into court?
I was framed!!!!!!!!!!!! jk What do you call a vampire who’s car breaks down three miles from a bloodbank?A cab Vampiro How do you start a teddy bear race?

Ready teddy go!!!

Khan what do you call a snowman that crosses a vampire frostbites sin The dog went up to the tree and asked why do you have so much bark? bff What do elves first learn in school? The elf-abet zaido blue Imagine a duck into a glass bottle how do you get the duck out without breaking the bottle, hurting the duck, or using water?

Imagine it out

gsfhadfh Q: why did the car have a stomach ache???

A: Because he had too much gas.



FLYER What do you call a vampire that is sick?
A sickpire. Carcar what was squidwards[from spongebob squarepants] girlfriends name?

Think about it his favorite instrument

it is a clara-net ?

vany01841 What do fish say when they pucker?

pucker up baby and give me a smack on the lips

fishiy Why did the cheeseburger run away
from ketchup? Because he didn’t
want to catch up with his past. Faith Why are a tree and an elephant the same?

They both have a trunk

thepinkgirl A Mommy tomato, a Daddy tomato and a Baby tomato all went out for a walk, when the Baby tomato started lagging behind, the Daddy tomato walked back to him, stepped on him and said
ketchup(catch up) Winged Wonder Why do elephants were red nail polish?

to hide in cherry trees..have you seen elephant in a cherry tree lately? They must be doing good!

ak How do you make an eggroll?

You push it!

yoyogirl How do you make an eggroll?

You push it!

yoyogirl Why did the boy need a lader for school?

because it was a high school

the yas joke What did the red shirt say to the other red shirt. Nothing beause everybody knows shirts can not talk lol. Anayah why cant you play dolls with a dragon?

because it might be barbie-qued ha ha ha

joker What do you call a pig that knows karate?

A. Porkchop (Hah)

shorty324 question:what time of day can you spell the same backward and forward?
answer:noon hockey rocks Why did the king go to the dentist?
To get his teeth crowd den boy:i have been seeing spots for a
friend:did u ever see a doctor?
boy:nope just spots Guyanas Pride question:what starts witha T ends with a T and is full of T
answer:TEAPOT Dream Gurl Which is the gate we can’t pass it ?

Colgate [tooth paste]

Athu where do lions get their clothes?
JUNGLE SALES funkeychic why did the banana go to the doctors?

because he wasn’t peeling very well

liv What comes early in the morning to brighten a mother’s day?

the school bus

Maarz Q: What do you call a sad berry?
A: A blue [sad] berry. Uyenny the Vu How Can a hamburger run a mile???

because its fastfood!!!!!!!!!!!

K what do you call a fly with no wings? a walk crazy acrubber why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill ?

cause it ran out of juice ……

sick joke !! What did the skeleton order for dinner… prime rib jutm what did the skeleton say before he ate?
boneapatete dragon breath what do you call a snail on a ship?…… snailer dss What do you call a deer with no eyes? ? ?

A No’I deer x x x

Danz’Babe x What is the funniest bone…the trombone Elle What happens when you think in the shower?
xD anttubabii What did the corner say to the other corner.

meet me half way. ha.ha.ha.ha

Mrz.carter Q:What has five fingers but is not a hand?
A:A glove! Danielle:) what did frosty the snow man name his child when he married a vampire?


cunfused What do you call a fish with no eyes?

answer: FSH

woogie9 How do you cut a sea in half?

With a Sea Saw !!!!!!!!!!!

FunnyBones3 What Has 4 Legs & Can’t Walk?

A Chair

Maddie what kind of beans does draucula like
answer:a human beans nicky Docter Docter I feel like a pig

How long have you been feeling like this?

For a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekk

Monkey moomoo Q. What do you get from a pampered cow?

A. Spoiled milk.

S.P&A.T Q. Why did the tomato turn red?

A. It saw the salad dressing!

S.P&A.T Q. Why did the birdie go to the hospital?

A. To get a tweetment.

S.P&A.T what do you call a bear with no shoes? Bear foot. daniela WHAT DO YOU CALL A BULL SLEEPING??



S If the pink house has pink bricks,the black one has black bricks. What does the greenhouse have???

A: Glass

katekate whats a lion favorite game?preystation flamzing how does a snow monster build his
house?a. iglue smily what did the pumpkin say to his pesty little brother? cut it out honey WHAT DID ONE PENNY SAY TO THE OTHER? LETS GET TOGETHER AND MAKE SOME CENTS. MARISSA what do you call a millionair with no money ….a zerorownair lilly Q.What do you call something red and goes up and down

A. A tomato in an elevator

shani WHAT DO YOU CALL A HIPPO WHOS SLURPING NOODLES?A SLURPOPOTAMAS NOODLE SLURP what do you get if you cross spongebob with Albert einstein?
….spongebob smartypants!!!!!!!! matt What do you call a fruit that is a genius? mangogenius mg What do u call a train full of sweets?

A chew chew train

daz what do you give a tiger and a parrot combined?
any thing it wants adog what animal is better then a counting dog??

a spelling bee!!!

Breezy!! what do you call a bunny at the northpole ? LOST! pieman Where does Santa go on his vacation?
A Ho-Ho-Hotel Nick Teacher: leona did you do your homework?

Leona:nope i didn’t

Teacher:That’s it young lady 25 minutes of detention

leona:i can’t get blamed for something i didn’t even do!

Shanial Where do cows get there medicine?
The farmacy Browniecake why do people never listen to walnuts jokes? because there a-corny! ducky4536 Why did the bee get married?

because she found her honey

sarai what is the laziest mountain: mount everREST sarah Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
Because he wanted cold hard cash! chris Teacher : Sam! When was Rome built?
Sam : It was built during night.
Teacher : How can you say so?
Sam : Well,everyone knows that «Rome was not built in a day»… Rizwana WHY WAS THE MATHS BOOK UPSET

{ because it had many problems ]

dolly Q:What is a snake’s favorite
A:Hisstory Adhu Sir:James, why are you wearing cotton in your ears?

James:Beause you always say that when you say something it goes in from one ear and goes out from the other.

Rach ally:are you smart


Ally:spell it.


Ally:Nope I said spell IT.

berry10 What’s a minister’s favorite thing about a Televistion????)
the PRAYstation!!!
LOL— Top That! choPPer 97 What did the alien say to the jigsaw puzzle? I come in piece and you come in pieces! Jman What happened to the monster who took the 5’o clock train home?
He had to bring it back! OHM Why didn’t the two worms get on Noah’s ark in an apple?

Because they had to go in a pair!

Joseph Thomas Marchant from robin hood Why did the monster eat the train?

Because it said choo-choo!

josh at elverta How does money taste??

really really rich!!jajaja

joker What do you get wen you cross a duck with a cow?
Cheese and quakers! Ezra mommy monster: I took my son to the zoo yesterday

second monster: did they keep him??

monsters mom: Sam stop pulling my hair.

Sam: I want my gum back!!

gum Jennifer:Jake why is your sister so small??

Jake:she is my half sister!!



YO MAMA 24 what do you call frosty the snow man in summer?

a puddle

jj Q:what did the hot dog when it won the race?
A:I’M THE WEENER (WINNER) cheychey Which president is the biggest ham?
Abraham (Lincoln of course) Money What is a tree’s favorite trunk?
Root Beer Money Why is it too hot in a stadium after a football game?
all the fans have left Mani Why is a lost dalmation easily found?
because he’s always spotted! Mani why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side paramorefan Do you want to hear a construction joke?

I’m still working on it

jokey what did the chef say to the mushroom?

You are a fun guy (fungi get it rotfl) lololololololol

pasta head What do you get when you cross a fish and a cat? A prrrrrrrana get it hahahahha. TENA What kind or dance do you do on a trampoline?
(Hip-Hop!) Faith is wise WHAT TYPE OF SWIMMING TECHNIQUE CAN’T YOU DO IN A KITTY POOL? THE DOGGY PADDLE! JJAY what do bees ride to school?
The school buzz. arkgirl Q:WHAT IS A CATS’ FAVOURITE COLOUR?


shishi What is the biggest word in the world /smiles because there is a mile next to each s. yo What goes around the world and stays in a corner?
A Stamp unknown Q.Why did the tiger lose the race?
A.»cuz the other guy was a «cheetah»{cheater} Nikki What did the Mummy monster say to the baby monster at lunch time?

Dont speak with someone in your mouth!

cheeky monkey Q. what do you call two banna peals A. slippers dawg Why does a Rhino have so many wrinkles?

Cause he’s hard to iron.

Skeeter Q.What did one eye say to the other.

A.Something between us smells.

T-Baby How do you start a teddy bear race

A. say ready teddy go!!!!

pinky Q: What did the lions say before they ate dinner

A: Let us prey

xszsimszzx What does a frog like to dance to?

HIP HOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Flavor flav me: hey sister mom wants you to help fix dinner. sister: why is it broken? sidthekid who do you call when you hurt your toe…… a toe truck. dav What did the tonsil say to the other tonsil? Get dressed the doctor is taken us out tonight pepperabby Q:Why was the car so smelly. A:It had to much gas bugsbunny Q what do you call two hands stuck together

A pom pom

Emily Q: A butcher is 5 foot 2 inch what does he weigh?

A: meat

kim Q) why did Chris put his electric guitar in the freezer?
A) Coz he loved cool music! Lizz the showbizz Why did mickey mouse shrink himself?

To be with Minnie

Karith CupCakith why did the lady want wheels on her rocking chair ?

so she could rock and roll

h Question:what do you call a snail in charge of a ship?

Answer:a snailer

brynny po why did the tiger always lose relay races because the other guy was a terrible cheetah dudu Q.what as 4 wheels and flies A. a garbge truck elizabeth WHAT GOES UP AND NEVER COME DOWN?
ANSWER:YOUR AGE KELLY WHY DIDN’T THE MAN DIE WHEN HE DRANK THE POSITION?HE WAS IN THE LIVING ROOM. SASSYLOVESU why did the spider go on his computer? Because he wanted to go on his website doggy what do u call a monkey hanging on bars?

Monkey bars

bre babe Where do superman’s goldfish live? In the superbowl. fishyperson What is the tallest building?

The library cause it has most stories.

shining star Q.What do you call two hands stuck to gether

.A Pom Pom

moo How do you fix a car in Scotland?
with scotch tape. Cutiepie16 How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste! moe When do you see the most frogs?
When it is froggy out. pesty Q.When do you go on red and stop on green? A.When you’re eating a watermelon! t what did superman’s monkey live in? a super cage natalli24946484 Q. What is the best way to catch a fish?
A. Have someone throw it at you. 123a What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?

a wooly jumper!

monkeysrule said queenbadbananas What do you get when you cross a chicken by a chicken?

Answer:a Chicken Dumpling!!!!

Nicole What type of table doesn’t have any legs?

a multiplication table

baby101 Q: What do you call a sad strawberry?

A:a Blue berry!

sad berry What’s the dogs least favorite doggy bag?

a Fleabag!!!!

dragoon1223 What do you call a fish with no i’s?

A Fsh!

fishy What do you do when you brake your big Toe??
Answer: Call a Big Toe Truck. Ha Ha Little Angie What kind of dinosaur drinks tea? A T-Rex. Hailey110299 Who is the person that arm-wrestlers don’t want to meet? Answer: Neil Armstrong cool6482 What did a tornado say to the other tornado?

A.Twist you later!LOL!

Silly What do basketballs and babies have in common. answer:THEY BOTH DRIBBLE darnelll What has 4 legs a tail and is black and white?


right on What type of room has nothing in it?

a mushroom

plack monster What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?

( milk & quackers)

Kasey What do snowmen eat for cereal? frosted flakes bubble but 54 What is Santa’s favorite candy? A jolly rancher gabe burch What does the banana say to the other banana?

A.Keep you eye’s peeled

may-maycool How do you stop a lion from charging?
take away its credit cards!! rcky123 How do you know when a dinosaur is under your bed?

your nose hits the ceiling

dinosaur What do pigs get when they’re ill?


piggys Why did John walk backwards to school?

it was back to school day

school How much money does a skunk have?

one scent

skunk What do you get when you cross a giant with a skunk?

a big stink

giant and skunk Why was cinderella not good at football?

Because she had a pumpkin as a coach

cinderella What is the most tired part of your car?

the exhaust pipe

your car How do you make a slow horse fast?

stop feeding it

horse Why do fish swim in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

fishies What has four eyes but cant see?


eyes How do you make and egg roll?

push it

egg roll What does a lazy dog chase?

parked cars..haha

lazy dog What is a ghosts favorite food?

Anwser: BOO berrys!!Haha!

BOO!! What do you get when you cross a snake and a book? Hisstory! jokertin86 Where did the football players fish live?
the SUPERBOWL!!! FISHYS What does a snowman eat for breakfast? Snowflakes. Ashely101 Why did the little boy put paper over the TV?

He was trying to make paper view.

Nabri Why did the tomato turn red?

Because he saw the salad dressing!

Josie Gale What did the stamp say to the envelope? Answer:Stick with me and we we’ll go places blank question:how do you know you have an elephant under your bed?

answer:when your nose hits the ceiling.

poof what do you feed a teddy bear? You can’t its already stuffed. teddy What do you find in a clean nose?
fingerprints speckles What are two banana peels together called?
A pair of slippers prango Why did the bald guy put a rabbit on his head?

he needed hare

baldy One night a boy was sleeping and dreaming about a marshmallow and when he woke up his pillow was gone!!!! Bubbles Question: What do whales put on toast?

Answer: Blubber ( Instead of butter!)

Quaker Q: What is a bears favorite phone?
A: a blackberry! lol girl WHY DO THEY CALL A TREX A TREX? BECAUSE IT’S SHAPED LIKE A T AND IT RECKS STUFF. TREX What’s easy to get into, but hard to get out of?


Thika. question: what do you call a bear with no teeth?
your answer: A GUMMY BEAR!! yOuR hOME guRL! Q:What bird can you write with?
A:A PENguin. lol penguin gal Have you heard the story of the germ?

Never mind, it’ll spread.

germex Have you heard the one about the skunk?

Never mind, it really stinks.

smellz (good) Q: What has 2 spines and millions of ribs?

A: Railroad

doglover Who’s is the only super hero you can eat? Obi-wan canoli! spiderbird Where do you wash a vampire? In the bat room mariam Q.Whats the difference between a fly and a bird.
A.a bird can fly but a fly can’t bird. Bree WHEN DO DUCKS WAKE UP?
THE QUACK OF DAWN!!!! WILLIA Why was sally’s horse called ink?
because he kept running out of the pen! 411girl Q: What did one eye say to the other?

A: Something stinks in between us!

joker (This did NOT happen to me)
A girl texted: What does IDK mean?
ME: I don’t know
GIRL: OMG!!! No one else does, either! crazychick Why did the jellybean go to school

Because he wanted to be a smartie

smiley Q.What has 4 wheels and flies? A.A garbage truck EE Q)why dont you do homework in the jungle?
A)because if you add 4+4 you get ATE!!! hahaha!!! skyress14 Why did the computer go to the doctor?
because it had a virus! Mz.britbrit What’s the meanest type of shoe?


bever M: How’s my son doing in your class?

T: He surprises me at least once a month!

M: In what way?

T: Once a month he can answer me correctly!

princess jokes What did the scarf say to the hat? You keep an eye up there and I’ll hang around here!!! Jaye-Louise Hall Why was the math book sad? because it has to many problems! math What do you call a baby partial?
A:Adam mini Q: What kind of animal should you never play cards with
A: A Cheetah!!!!:) cuty pie 427 What do you have when you have 7 oranges in your right hand and 5 in the other hand?

answer- big hands


ANSWER: STUFFING (like at thanksgiving)

H2O TO THEEE MAX !! What did the plant do in math class?

Answer: It grew square roots!

killer whats the best thing to put on a pie?
your teeth! bu bu Why does vampires brush their teeth?

To stop bat breath.

eee! When do ghosts play tricks on each other?

on April ghouls day.

tut! tut! tut! tut! Where do abominable snowman go to dance?

To snowballs.

yeh! What should a short sighted ghost have?


really! What should a short sighted ghost have? spooktacles! Ell why did Mickey mouse go to outer space? Because he wanted to see pluto karlin twiss My real name . Why was the skeleton laughing?

because of it’s funny bone

cookie Q: What has a head, a tail, and no body?

A: A coin!

quackster Why did the cookie go to the docter?

Because it felt crummy!!!

abay bay Why do some football players never sweat?
because of all there fans! fashion is my middle name Where does the EASTER BUNNY go to eat breakfast?


paul derfus!!! Joker: Wanna hear a construction joke?

Person: Sure, I’d love to hear a construction joke!

Joker: Sorry, I’m still working on it!

Person: Ha, ha, ha!!!!!!

lisa2208 Q: What time should a person go at the dentist?
A: At TOOTH-THIRTY!!! sweetangel_99 Why did the house go to the doctor?
Because he had window panes!!! angel Why did the monkey say to his little brother?

you’re driving me bananas!

tator top Whats the difference between a teacher and a
train. the teacher says spit out your gum and
the train says chew chew chew. nubero Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
because he lost his filling tor What animal needs to wear a wig?
a bald eagle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T.T. WHERE CAN YOU FIND AN OCEAN WITH NO WATER?
ON A MAP SPUX What is round as a cookie, busy as a bee? What can it be?

A watch

cutie pie What does an elf learn in school?

answer- the elfabet

mnm Q: What did the blanket say to the bed?

A: Don’t worry Ive got you covered!

DevonSlapBill Q. What do bunnies like to play?

A. hop scotch

ABC teacher: Name two animals that live in a cold region?

student: A polar bear and his wife

bitya Why did the egg go to the doctors?

Because he had a cracking headache.ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!

tybo Q: Where does a rabbit learn how to fly?

A: in the hare force.

k.k. Why did the grasshopper go to the doctor?

because he felt jumpy.

shelly What kind of trick can a bunny do on a BMX bike?


audrey Why did the kid sleep with a ruler?

To measure how long he slept!

socks Q:What is a witches favorite part in school?

A:Spelling LOL!!!

kristy Q.Why was Rita carrying a ladder?

A.Because she was going to high school!

becky What did the math book say to the other math book?
Boy do I have problems. Ginger Q: Why did the boy take a pencil to bed?

A: to draw the curtains!

bullet Why is a horse like a wedding?

Because they both need a GROOM!!!

Brooke Why is a horse like a wedding

Because they both need a groom!!!!!!!!!!

BECKBOO Q. What has four legs but can’t walk?

A. a chair!!!!!!!!!!!

CASSY!X!X!X!X! Q. What do you call a sheep that is covered in chocolate?

A. A Hershey baaaaaar!

Hana Q. What lies at the bottom of the sea and

A. A nervous shipwreck!

ollie Q:why did the sheep go to the movies

A: to get some snaaahcks

spidermonkey5 Q:How do you make a fruit punch?

A:Give it boxing lessons.

Kyran Q: What’s black and white and makes a lot of noise?
A: A zebra with a drumkit. jay Q. why did the elephant paint himself diffrent colours
A. so he could hide in the crayon box doll What dog can jump higher than a building?

Anydog, buildings can’t jump!


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