Jokes …

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the begining of a new argument.

A blonde, brunette and redhead are in a desert.

The brunette says, «I brought some water so we don’t get dehydrated.»

The redhead says, «I brought some suntan lotion so we don’t get sunburned.»

Then the blonde says I brought a car door.» The other girls said, «Why did you bring that?» Then the blonde says, «So I can roll down the window if it gets hot.»

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years. The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. “Congratulations! You’re a free man. Just tell me why didn’t you jump?” asked the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, “Well Doc, I can’t swim!»

Two friends, who had lost contact for many years, were catching up with each other. One asked, «So, you’ve got your own company, huh? How lucky!» The other replied, «Just a small one, nothing to be proud of.»

Disbelieving, the first queried, «Small? How many people work in your company?»

The other sadly answered, «About half of them.»

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