Hindi & English Jokes



One Saturday afternoon the grasshopper, the snail, and the centipede were sitting around the grasshopper’s house, drinking beer.
They ran out of beer before they were ready to quit drinking, so they decided one of them should go out for more beer.
The snail said, “I’d go, but I’m kinda slow. Besides, Grasshopper, this is your neighborhood so you know where to go.”
The grasshopper said, “I don’t mind going, but my hopping will shake up the beer and we’ll get sprayed every time we open one.”
So they decided to send the centipede and the grasshopper explained how to get to the nearest liquor store.

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An hour or so passed and still the centipede hadn’t returned, so the snail and the grasshopper decided to go look for him.
They got as far as the the front door and found the centipede sitting there putting on his shoes.

Yeh soch kar ruka hua hoo

Pehla gadha: Yaar mein jis dhobi ke ghar kaam karta hoo, vo mujhe bahut marta hai.
Doosra gadha: Tu ghar chor kar bhaag kyo nahi jata.

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Pehla gadha: Kya batau yaar dhobi ki ek bahut koobsurat ladki hai, vo jab bhi shararat karti hai to dhobi kehta hai ki, teri shaadi kisi gadhe se kar dunga.
Bas yeh soch kar ruka hua hoo.

Big white cat

Daughter told to her mother, “Right now I have seen a healthy white big cat went out from our kitchen”

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Mother told, ” It is good sign and fortune to see a white big cat.”
Daughter replied, “Yes fortune is that it has eaten all of your foods.”

Faithful

A man went to sell his dog. A buyer asked him, “Is this dog faithful?”
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The man replied, “Yes,I have sold him 3 times but he returns to me.”

Talking to owl

Santa is a evening bird lover. One day he stood in his backyard and heard an owl hoot. So he thought he’d give a hoot back. To his surprise and delight the bird hooted again.
The next night the same scenario occurred. All summer, Santa and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the “conversations.”

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Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in interspecies communication.
His wife, Jeeto, had a chat with Preeto (Mrs Banta), her next door neighbour.
“My husband spends his nights calling to owls,” she said. “That`s odd,” the neighbour replied. “So does my husband.”

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