20 Jokes About English Majors That Are Pretty Dead On

  1. Buzz

·Posted on Dec 1, 2019

«Oh you’re an English major? Name every word.»

1.

If you’re dating an English major, you’re single to me. Like what’s Julian going to do, tell me the pen is mightier than the sword lmao

If you’re dating an English major, you’re single to me. Like what’s Julian going to do, tell me the pen is mightier than the sword lmao

07:59 PM — 18 Oct 2019

2.

3.

4.

the student athlete meme but for white english majors who write poems like  Pale hands Against white cheek We shatter Cigarettes

the student athlete meme but for white english majors who write poems like Pale hands Against white cheek We shatter Cigarettes

04:31 PM — 17 Mar 2017

5.

6.

PHILOSOPHY MAJOR: humanity is at risk STEM MAJOR: because global warming is affecting sea levels ENGLISH MAJOR: is it affecting or effecting

PHILOSOPHY MAJOR: humanity is at risk STEM MAJOR: because global warming is affecting sea levels ENGLISH MAJOR: is it affecting or effecting

12:15 PM — 12 Apr 2017

7.

english major twitter when marie kondo suggests they should donate the books they haven’t touched in 20 years

english major twitter when marie kondo suggests they should donate the books they haven’t touched in 20 years

04:00 PM — 05 Jan 2019

8.

me: im an english major  everyone: what the heck are u gonna do with that? teach?  lyft drivers: omg are you gonna write a novel?? i can’t wait to read it ur gonna be amazing!

me: im an english major everyone: what the heck are u gonna do with that? teach? lyft drivers: omg are you gonna write a novel?? i can’t wait to read it ur gonna be amazing!

05:09 PM — 13 Jun 2018

9.

Me: *is an English major*  Also me: English is the colonizer's language and it has trivial rules

Me: *is an English major* Also me: English is the colonizer’s language and it has trivial rules

01:55 AM — 06 Mar 2019

10.

11.

12.

english majors be like man I gotta make a spotify playlist named after a quote from a nineteenth century poet whose body of work is riddled with homoerotic subtext by monday

english majors be like man I gotta make a spotify playlist named after a quote from a nineteenth century poet whose body of work is riddled with homoerotic subtext by monday

01:27 PM — 03 Nov 2019

13.

14.

15.

All the English majors you who know have good jobs after years of being told we’d be unemployed.  Look at us. Who would have thought writing understandable sentences could be a useful skill?

All the English majors you who know have good jobs after years of being told we’d be unemployed. Look at us. Who would have thought writing understandable sentences could be a useful skill?

05:07 PM — 26 Oct 2019

16.

17.

18.

Queer Eye but it’s five English majors trying to convince a small-town city council that young people actually love books and they should fund a new library.

Queer Eye but it’s five English majors trying to convince a small-town city council that young people actually love books and they should fund a new library.

07:00 PM — 06 Aug 2018

19.

20.

english majors be handing their papers to professors like

english majors be handing their papers to professors like «am i worthwhile as a person check yes or no».

05:24 PM — 18 Nov 2019

21.

ME: hi-  WHITE ENGLISH MAJOR: my skin ️ is sensitive 🤔 but i still write my poems  on my wrist with sharpie because art is pain

ME: hi- WHITE ENGLISH MAJOR: my skin ️ is sensitive 🤔 but i still write my poems on my wrist with sharpie because art is pain

04:39 PM — 17 Mar 2017

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